funny

It’s quite frightening… but I forgot my gloves

This is some exciting news that all the news stations will be covering shortly if they haven’t already. Are you ready? It’s winter and it’s snowing!!!!  Unless you live in the Middle East or Florida is this really news? What makes this news story so absurd is they’ll send reporters covering the snow from various locations. Hey we’ve got whiter snow (not racist) in Monsey then in Long Island.  They’ll have different angles on the storm as well for example how do the youth deal with the snow. I’ve just been handing another breaking story….

“It’s a heat wave and it’s summer”.

I think it’s time to go and watch some football.

Have you ever been in-between? For example you’re about to leave but know you will have to keep coming back. Then you are in a state of “ishing”.  Here’s how it works (below).

(1) add ishing to any verb.

Workishing = Sorta working but not sure if it will last

leavishing = Sorta leaving but not sure if you’ll get to the door

eatishing = About to eat but continually interrupted

writishing = Writing but it’s sorta going know where.

Uh oh is there where this post is goi…

 Yes I know you can’t believe it

What I’m about to say might be more controversial then my position on abortion. It might end friendship but the truth must be told no matter where it leads. I don’t enjoy fancy restaurants.  Wow that was a relieve!   A fancy restaurant is defined by me as any restaurant that serves main courses that are 30 times the price of a White Castle burger.  I have several logical reasons for my decision (see below) but there are occasions where I can make exceptions (birthdays, anniversaries, winning the lotto etc)

(1) PRICE- If a meals going to cost me alone $30- $50 I’d rather buy a new pair of sneakers.

(2) TIME- I would rather spend 2 hours watching a movie even a B movie then sit looking at the walls. Yes I understand these are very pretty walls.

(3) AMBIANCE- I don’t really understand what it means but it sounds too fancy to be in restaurant.

(4) SMALL TALK- After 10 minutes my small talk leads into the dangerous subjects of politics, religious or even worse Tim Teebow should be playing football.

(5) PRICE- Oh I said that before but did you actually look at what they charged for a glass of wine. I could buy an entire wine vineyard for that price.

I want to share with you some of the memories good, bad and ugly of Thanksgiving as well as past, present and G-D willing future Thanksgiving.

(1) BLACK TURKEY- I love all people’s but I don’t like my Turkey black and one year we used the deep fryer to cook our turkey. Well let’s just say it was very crispy.

(2) FALLING TURKEY- Make sure your table is secure before placing your turkey on it.  Trust me even dead turkeys have a way to come to life.

(3) CUTTING KNIFE- I was completely prepared until my electric knife decided it was time to go back to a more ancient time where there was no electricity.

(4) APPLE PIE SOUP- Yes I continue to make apple pie every year although some say it’s apple soup because it gets a bit watery. This year new secret ingredients have been added to insure it is not soupy…. I think

(5) PREPARATION- We are rockin and ready to go!  We worked on this event for several days and put it in 4th gear last night. The guest will see great food. I just hope it taste that way.