Philosophy

Last night was another night when I rushed to accomplish too many things only to realize that it could end in a second.  I was planning to leave my parking spot when I realized I had left my receipt, that retrieval almost cost me my life. As I went to open my door another car smashed right into my door.  If I had realized that I lost that receipt a second earlier not only would my door be crushed but so would I.

How many times have we just missed an incident that would make our world stop in a second? We wait in traffic because there is a fatal accident ahead but if we had come a few minutes earlier could it have been us? We seen this week how tragedy can occur where we least expect it as 4 individuals with I’m sure many wonderful plans lost their life’s in the train derailment along the Metro-North line.  How many people regret cursing themselves as they just missed that train? Life is fragile like glass and can end in an instant. Therefore we must realize that we are at G-D’s grace every second. It’s important to have plans and work to make them happen but never forget to enjoy the moments you have now.

It is very difficult to see a loved one fall but sometimes if you don’t let them hit the floor they may never recover.  It’s sad to say but ” tough love ” might be the only love in the long run that shows compassion. We can keep holding them up but then we only enable them to continue a behavior that will continue to get worse.  So how do we determine when to allow someone to fall? I believe these hints (below) might be helpful.

(1) Is it a behavior that this individual continues to perform even though it didn’t result in a positive outcome?

(2) Have you continued to offer them solutions that they have ignored?

(3) Have others around them helped them from falling by catching them in the past?

(4) Once they fall will they have an avenue to get up in loving hands if they decide to make a change.

Many people will try endlessly to mold a person into something they are not. They won’t accept that some people are just a round peg that won’t fit in a square hole. It’s sad because the world would be a bit more boring if all we had were square pegs.  What makes life more interesting is the people who see the world through a different light and enjoy activities that others might even  frown on. So let’s  appreciate the uniqueness of an individual. You never know when that square peg and even a triangle peg might come in handy.  Hey, I luv your purple Mohawk !

We hear the word tolerance heard many times but I believe it is excluding those of faith.  It is essential that we allow consenting adults to live the lives they want without fear of governmental reprisal but does that mean that others lose the right to express their beliefs?  For example does tolerance mean that someone of faith must attend a wedding that is against their beliefs?  How do we insure that we truly tolerate those with differing beliefs when society is pushing them to go along or just shut up?

(1) PROTECT CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS- The minority has the right to speak their mind without threat of governmental actions or intimidations.

(2) RESPECT – Respect individuals of all different faiths and try to understand their perspective without condescending remarks.

(3) AGREE TO DISAGREE- Understand that you might disagree on an issue without being hateful to a person.

(4) SEPARATE- Their are events that you will enjoy that others might find offensive.  Accept and respect their ability to stand up for the values that they uphold instead of trying to tear them down.

There was a time when people were more careful with the words they used.  A time when people spent time thinking about how they would talk to someone before they actually spoke.  It was a time when people knew when to move on and/or shut the hell up (not tactful) instead of battle on nausea. I hope a bit more of this time is restored shortly.

Let’s be honest sometimes tact comes across as either a therapy lesson or political speak yet if done like an artist it can enable you to get your point across without engaging in a long drawn out battle.  It takes time and effort to figure out a strategy to enable this form of speech to work but many times it’s worth it. It all depends on how, who and when you use it (don’t use it in a locker-room or ballgame). Some people might resent the use of tact but most will appreciate the effort. Here are some key factors (below) to consider.

(1) Listen and try to fully understand those you will be using tact on. For example what is there point in there verbal attack, political position, etc. Try to figure how you can use their points to prove your point.

(2) Explain that you understand their point and how they feel.

(3) State clearly with (I) your position and why you feel that way. For example ” It can be hard but sometimes I feel….. when I hear this said and I become less motivated”.  This is where you utilize there points (step 1)

(4) Let the other person hear your words if they can or will.  If there is too much resistance move on.  Many times it will appear that they have ignored your point of view but you never know when your words of wisdom will hit them and make them think a bit differently.

(5) Be proud of yourself for being the better person either way and reward yourself with some very insensitive music and/or political incorrect movie.

How many times in a day to we listen to we speak or listen to someone without actually seeing them? It could be the time we spend listening to a radio show while going for a long trip, that annoying telemarketing or a person from triple AAA helping you deal with a flat tire (yes I don’t know how to change a tire),whatever it might be it’s strange how much time we hear voices but see nothing.

Yet it’s how we perceive those voices that make life a bit more interesting. Does that voice come from a model hidden behind a telemarketer desk or a serial killer who just found out that your stuck with a flat tire; you may never know or know to soon. No matter how you imagine that person once you meet or see them in real life, it’s quite shocking that your imagination is so off (has anyone seen Don Imus lately).

The truth is how we see the voices in our life can tell us much about the type of people we are. If the voices appear dark and gloomy then maybe we are a bit more pessimistic then we should be on the other hand if their beautiful and sexy maybe we just want to escape the reality we are living in now. In conclusion maybe if we could change the way we perceive a voice we might be able to change the way we see the world.