When I was a bit younger I dated a beautiful young lady who I thought had a great time with me but for some reason wouldn’t return my phone call. So I came up with this secret plan to find out the true reason why. The plan was simple I would have my friend call to find the reason why I was on the other line listening. What I soon discovered shocked me, she said that I was a great guy (ok good guy) but I was too helpful. What is too helpful?
I have always believed in “to do unto others as you would want done unto you” and to me that means to be that helping hand when someone is in need. Many have wondered does that mean you offer a helping hand when a person doesn’t ask for that hand or should you not “bug into someone else’s business”? I believe there is a line between that hand and a push. Here is how I draw the line (below). Please note that line isn’t always straight.
(1) If someone asks for help try to help them if you have the ability to do so or get others that might be able to help. This is the case unless that person is actually hurt by the offering. When a car appears stuck on the road I call the police to get them assistance (my mechanical skills are less then adequate). If a beggar ask for change for food I’d buy them the food rather then give them the money to use for other detrimental purposes.
(2) When someone appears to be suffering or “in need of help” then you can say “is there anything I can do to help”.
(3) If the answer is “no” move on except when the continue to suffer because of a poor choice they have made and/or you are close to that individual. This is where tact comes in. You could say “it appears that you might be having difficulty, I’d love to help you if you’d like but understand if you want to sort it out yourself. Please just understand I’m there if k you change your mind.”
(4) If the answer is yes but they don’t truly accept your advise they might just want empathy and then it’s your decision how much empathy they deserve.
(4) If the answer is no then let it be and ask G-D to give them the insight to solve the problem that they are having.
PLEASE ADD YOUR OWN THOUGHTS AND SHARE WITH OTHERS.
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