Monthly Archives June 2015

Last night as I watched another episode of “House Of Cards” as I realized that I have a need to escape!  That escape must occur from wherever my “normal situation” takes me and can occur from reading a book, writing a blog piece, seeing a movie, being involved in a creative project or even listening to a song where the art takes me to a whole different place. The only way the escape will work is if all the pieces fit just right otherwise like a junkie I will need a new rush.  As my mind escapes into that world my adrenaline gives my body a rush that is unlike anything else.  That rush allows the mundane in life to be seen in a whole new perspective and jump starts for a “normal day” ahead until I get my next fix of “escape”.

It was one of those days where frustration held a steady hand over me yet when night began that hand evaporated.  Work was steady but as if the water dropped one step at a time, annoying. Nothing in particular bothered me but the atmosphere of “all the same” with the walls every so slightly closing in on me.  Then the evening arrived and I let go of the common and allowed myself to be who I was. There was no extraordinary actions that occurred yet letting go of the tediousness opened a world upon itself.

Those that have studied Psychology will understand the pyramid above as what motivates us at different points of our life. The bottom row is for those that are basically working for the basic survival needs of a person. Thank G-D  this hasn’t been too much a problem in my life. Yet as we go up the ladder it becomes more difficult to achieve the satisfaction we achieved at the lower realms.  It is much easier to see the food you bring to a table from your work then the love and esteem of others around you.  Self Actualization is the most difficult mark to achieve because no matter how you much you feel you’ve achieved there are so many more mountains that you might want to climb and once you get to the top of one it appears flat very quickly.  It also is extremely difficult because once you achieve one goal in self actualization you usually have to start way at the bottom to try to achieve your next goal.  In my own life this pursuit continues but as I move up in years I must learn that I must leave some mountains for my predecessors to climb. Maybe I’ll be able to feel that self actualization by knowing I put in the stake where others have and will climb.

Yesterday was a blur. It’s not like I’m forgetting more then usual (I hope) but there wasn’t any event that seemed to lead to a build on to my history on this earth. Of course I worked as hard as normal and had some great family time but nothing different emerges from the ordinary except….

BACK PAIN- I’ve had this pain for a couple of days and although it isn’t dramatic it appears like a slow leak every once in awhile it pops up.

DISCUSSIONS- It was strange how everyone in my family was very non-chalet when I discussed a living will.

BOTHERSOME- I was annoyed how the NY Times continues to throw puffs of air at Marco’s Rubio campaign while the wind passes most other campaigns.

MISSED- I got to watch a few minutes of the NBA finals but unless I become a night owl  or call in sick will continue to miss the second half.

FINALLY- Planning an exciting trip with a friend next week for a couple of days that could change the picture or at least add a few more colors… Details coming soon.

At this point in my life it takes a very special movie horror movie to even make me jump so if you want to create fear in my life then let me worry about my children. My mind wanders to some of the scariest places on earth and beyond when they come home later then expected or leave in an angry mood. I can allow the worry creep up on me as if Jason is slowly walking up behind me.  Everything will appear nice and calm until a sudden slash of terror grips me as a door slowly opens revealing my son from a late night party.  Rain thundering down on me it the middle of the empty woods is nothing to the blood curling fear that can reside in my pulsating heart.  If this scares you too much maybe it’s time you have a dog or cat instead.