Relationship Addiction

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relationship addiction

#Relationship #Addiction #Love #Hate

Most relationships are healthy but some can be as addictive as Heroin and the result as deadly. The individuals tied to such a relationship will exhibit many of the same traits as an addict and the withdrawal will be just as painful.  Just like a drug addict there are certain individuals that are more prone to become a relationship addict and there is usually a breaking period which brings on the addiction. Here are a few of the similarities (below) between the two.

(1) Relationship Addicts will get in a relationship even though they know it’s not good for them. They might have seen others fall from this relationship but they think that they are special and can deal with it.

(2) These individuals will get an incredible high just by being in this relationship that might lesson over time or even end but they will keep it going just to avoid feeling sick.

(3) They will do things because there in this relationship that they never thought they would stoop too. Spend monies they don’t have or commit acts that would bring shame to their name.

(4) The withdrawal from such a  relationship will be extremely painful and there mind might make them believe that it’s not over.

(5) Suicide or Murder can result with the final ending of such a relationship.

 

Hollywood’s mean machine

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small vs big

# hollywood, #abuse,

HOLLYWOOD IS NOT FOR THOSE THAT ARE WEAK

Hollywood is truly the most abusive factory in the world of human emotions. In no other industry does a person fall from the street of gold to the street then this industry.  The majority of their labor force never makes it the A list which has a special privileges that aren’t seen in the “underclass”.  A, B rated star (the majority) has a life that goes up and down like a rollercoaster and may get a position not on their true talent but on who they know or how they know them.  If you want to get further up in that industry many will throw their values down and step up on anyone along the way.

This is why I believe the majority of the individuals in it are liberal. They see on a daily basis the greed of those that cling to the top and are more empathic to those that have fallen or even been stepped on even by them. Many are dreamers who imagine a world which is not based on reality but their own hopes and aspirations. Others don’t want to distance themselves from the culture they are in because they fear that will only give the industry another reason to slam the door. Hollywood truly is a mean machine that takes only a few and leaves the rest dreaming for more.

Imagine one extra soul.

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holding hands

If we all took in one extra soul what a world it would be.  If we befriended just one lost individual so that they could get back on their feet then maybe that individual would help change one other individual and so on and so on.  I know there are plenty of individuals who because of their own poor choices put themselves into the shoes. For these their only hope might be tough love where they must find a path out for themselves.   Yet we all know individuals who with  little guidance can rebuild their life again.

Let’s start by looking within our own families. Maybe it’s  a lost cousin, aunt or uncle who just needs a little support emotional, spiritual or even financially.  It could be a person who used to go to your Church or Shul but left because of despair. Let’s find a way to lend a helping hand now because we one hand can save a soul and without who knows maybe even the world.

Learning to be cold

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cold hearted

It is one of the toughest lessons in business and life but there are times you must be cold.  When one is trying to get work done they must be willing to delegate some of that work to others who aren’t that enthusiastic (being polite) with there new work assignment.  They may claim it’s unfair or I just get paid to look pretty but it’s up to convince them otherwise even at the point of drawing a line that sticks.  You may not be popular at times but you will be respected and more importantly you will get the task done efficiently and without killing yourself.

Extremist words count.

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mouth shut

Have you ever spoken about an issue and only the a few words are actually heard?  I remember attending an anniversary of the assassination of John F Kennedy and giving an eloquent speech to a reporter why I didn’t consider JFK to be the best President only to find one sentence from my speech in the paper “He was young, good looking and shot that’s why he was popular”.

It taught me a lesson that lingers till today every word counts but the extreme words count a hell of a lot more. You can grab the attention of your friends and associates when you lose your tact and go right for the red meat, the only problem is you might lose a few friends along the way and more important lose your point. Once you’re labeled an extremist by saying a few words even out of context all your other points are struck down as if they didn’t exist.  Therefore the old saying speak before you talk holds water today even if sometimes you want that water to boil. It is best to keep that water luke warm unless your speaking in a closed pot among friends.

Friend vs Parent don’t have to be at odds.

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parenting

There has been  a great deal of discussion on how parents are trying too hard to be friends with their children and how that is detrimental to the family relationship. I believe that you must be both.  Your children should truly understand that you are there for them in thick and thin. They should know that you are open to discuss anything that is truly bothering them or that brings them great joy. You should enjoy fun times together and great laughs.

They should also understand that certain rules apply in your household and when broken punishment will be given.  Punishment can be as simple as a reprimand or a bit more serious like time-0ut but during this entire process they must know that you do this because you love them and want them not to be hurt or fail in the future.  If  punishment is threatened but never given or lightly given, then it becomes a white line that erases like chalk and you will not be taken seriously

Parenting is a tough balancing act if you are too strict your children might fall off and fear telling you about it but if you are too  lackadaisical they might continue to slip and eventually fall to far for you to catch them.  It is a challenge that requires continual evaluation of yourself and your own techniques in communication.   It also requires you to watch and learn from others that might have different experience then you.   Parenting like most life experiences is something you will continual review and improve over time.

Slapped with my IPAD

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Just recently I tried to help find some work for a person having a difficult time I even lent him my IPAD because his computer broke down. When he was unable to do the work noted I terminated our work relationship and asked for my IPAD back.  Not only did this individual refuse to return my IPAD but had the gall  to bill me for his discussion of the work he was going to perform.  I will continue to fight for what’s right not for myself but for others that this individual might have abused in the past and might do in the future if not stopped.  Winters may be cold  but spring is around the corner and with it a new rebirth of hope and justice.

Good deeds that turn bad.

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fooled

Have you ever done a good deed that has resulted in truly hurting yourself? I have and it hurts not because I didn’t get a thank you but at least I didn’t expect to be slapped in the face with my IPAD (see next blog). Individuals like the one noted make it more difficult for those who are truly needy to receive the help that they need.    For they take the best intentions of individuals and shatter it apart like a piece of glass leaving the Good Samaritan on his knees trying to see if anything in the mirror is truly real.   We need to stop these individuals in their tracks so that truly needy people can receive the help and care they need.

Know one can stop you … you just have to pay.

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THIS IS DEDICATED TO THE BRAVE FREEDOM FIGHTERS IN VENEZUELA, CUBA, SYRIA, NORTH KOREA  AND ELSEWHERE AROUND THE WORLD. May my words inspire them to continue the battle.

ghandi

The truth is no matter what someone or government says you are truly free to do what you want.  They can penalize for your actions but they truly can’t stop you. The great news is that if your actions are small  like raising your hand in a symbolic way and spread throughout the country like a wave they can’t stop it. They can try to suppress or kill the leadership of such a cause but if the people will not back down and if it spreads to the lowest in authority then eventually those restricting freedom will fall.

If there becomes a time when G-D forbid they imprison you because they worry what you can do they still can’t restrict what you believe. They can try to shout you down and disgrace you but your cause will burn bright and inspire others to act in your behalf.  Fear is the force that governments will use but truth will overcome even if it’s a terrible cost.  Freedom is given by G-D and in the end G-D’s cause will bring down all tyrannical regions.

Trying to kill our instincts

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play fighting

It is natural tendency for all primates to play fight whether we watch dogs, monkeys or even our fellow humans, we have a tendency to draw back to this basic instinct. Yet we as humans are a bit more civilized (I hope) so we put this into competitive games like football, wrestling, boxing or even Wall Street.   As a higher form of species we might want to lesson the pain of those that lose but the truth is we can’t eliminate it.  Our natural desire will come through and so will the victor.  “Fairness” of outcome will only lesson our natural desire to strive and we as a society will only all be hurt from it.

Those that lose in the battle will generally be better for the battle in the first place. They will either strive to achieve victory the next time or find a more competent way for their excellence to shine through. By giving the person who lost a medal you don’t make him/her feel like a winner but lesson the sting they might need to be a winner at another endeavor. Winners and losers are part of our instinct like play fighting but just like play fighting the outcome of one battle doesn’t determine the outcome of a war.  If we learn as much from our losses as our victories and with G-D’s blessing our loses will turn us into great victors in the future.

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