Monthly Archives December 2018

WARNING– Do not read while eating, sniffing, or driving a vehicle.

I know I shouldn’t write this blog piece because some might feel betrayed while others will be rightfully disgusted but it’s the truth.  A truth about a detective that lives in my house and gets paid with table scraps. This detective with 4 legs (named not revealed) will search endlessly for what is left on the ground which should probably stay there.  Yet do to his great detective work I make sure this doesn’t get stepped on by any of my two legged friends.  This isn’t just because it’s the right thing to do but also because this great Pet Detective for some reason believes this is a treat worthy of an appetizer bite. Just remember I did warn you this was going to be disgusting.

FOOTNOTE- The identity of this great Pet Detective has not been revealed although his species has.

I’m looking at a new car because my car is hitting 160,000 miles and I still have 8 payments left at over $400 which is probably more then it’s worth now.  I also know at the end of the year dealers are looking to move vehicles out from the previous year so I expect to get a “bargain”.   I was leaning toward the Hyundai Kona until I found out that I could have the same incredible safety features in an Amercican vehicle the Ford Ecosport Titanium. Here is the criteria that I’m looking to match to stay American.

(1) SAFETY- It appears the Titanium model will satisfy my concerns but I’ll look a bit deeper.

(2) FUEL EFFICIENCY- This is a feature I believe the Ford vehicle will be lacking.

(3) PRICE- Will I be able to continue to have my same monthly payments with this car or will it increase.

Tonight I will finally make a decision.

Life is a Lamborghini or Mule for sometimes you go so fast you don’t know how you got there while other times it’s so slow you might as well walk. Just when you feel one day slides into the next suddenly your mule appears and the hours appear like days.  When you look back at your Lamborghini days it’s nice to have a mule parked in the driveway but that doesn’t happen when your mule isn’t walking. They say life is what you make it but I say it depends on what you’re driving that day.

You know I don’t belong so stop using your fingers. It’s time to get rid of this feeling once in for all with one decisive action

You’re just using the wrong  tool and I’ll be out of your life forever at least in this spot. You know you want me to stop pestering you so go ahead and stop wasting your time hour after hour because I won’t give in. I am that itch and you can stop me if you dare.

FOOTNOTE- Don’t listen to Mrs. Itch get a cortisone cream instead even as she speaks through the itches. They usually work well and don’t leave any marks or hospital visits.

I don’t mind saving the world but cats in trees give me an F’in break! I mean really can’t you do anything anymore. Keeping this uniform clean isn’t free as well so it would be nice if I could at least get a tip for these extra-curricula activities or maybe a thank you. Now a days my activities are just expected as if super means one without feelings. I may not bleed like you but I still can be hurt by your coldness.  By the way whatever happened to your police force and is the even one  Good Samaritan left? Listen even if I’m Superman I’m super exhausted so can you just call someone else for a change.

FOOTNOTE- For those who have wondered where Superman went I think this provides the answer.

12/12/2100

She spoke and I had know idea what to say? Here was a beautiful woman who was living in some past generation where she wanted to pursue something called a “conversation”?  I know it’s bizarre in a world where we basically have everything at our eyelids she wanted to go back to her fingertips and even mouth.  Past the normal polite words into words of “why, how & even what do you think”? What do you think she should have an APP for that?  Yet she is so beautiful that I’m going to try and pursuing learning what is this thing called a “conversation” even if I have to go way back in time.

Before the mind goes to a different place I want to share with you some of the special woman who have held a hold onto it. These were woman who stayed with me more then one time and continue to hold some sway into who I am today.

(1) THE FIRST- Her name was Karen and I was so young that when she broke up with me I had one of those crying spells where I felt I couldn’t breathe. I also remember having a cut over her eye.

(2) EXPERIENCE- She was a neighbor from the block with the same name and she taught me things that helped me learn some bases.

(3) NOT APPROVED- A loved one told me to break up with this brilliant woman and I was stupid enough to listen.

(4) THE FEEL- She appeared to be in my life a lifetime even though it was only a summer. Yet the feelings were strong or could it have been her facial hair.

(5) GUYANA PURSUIT- This woman was beautiful and led him down the aisle after she told me she was engaged to someone else.

(6) NEBRASKA LOVE- Another woman with the same first name as the one on the block but with an innocence that captured my eyes as she took a step to the midwest to the bright lights of NY.  I followed her back to the land of Corn only to see our relationship end as a thrown out husk.

(7) BACK TO BASICS- Learning basic Jewish principles led me to this beauty who I believe used me after her shot missed. It was a powerful relationship that ended as if it never began  at least on her part.

(8) MOVE THE WORLD- This woman didn’t actually fit what looked like my profile as she wore my leather then cotton. Yet what caused it to end was something held back from her past which I’m glad I didn’t pursue in that future. She also said she had Carry powers

(9) SHARED EXPERIENCE- It was a short lived relationship that I thought I might return to until my friend decided it was time for him.

FOOTNOTE- I’m happily married now and don’t regret what got me there.