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Know one could see him but M-E yet I would be the only one to notice. For, I was the sick one who had delusions so they would just think this was another.  This new house which was such a bargain had many a  hidden door.  The first time I thought it was just a bad dream as he snuck out of the hidden door and covered my mouth before I could say a word. I woke up to nothing but a little red ribbon that I don’t remember having before. Later the visits were sorta welcome especially when my family left me alone in the house. He was kind and said that we would be best friends forever. I trusted him like no other and protected me from all those that betrayed me. To the point that I had to do it. Now I’m alone again in that special hospital and a great “bargain” has hit the housing market … again.

It’s not new but just as powerful as if it was. Without further ado I give you “Family” by Badflower let your ears and neurons decide.

Anxiety, depression, mania, psychosis, paranoia, my clients continue through their cycles along my path. These clients are not individuals who come to some office but enter my front door 24/7 . For, my door isn’t usually locked but at least now, I’ve developed techniques to go into a  secret closet for an hour or so.  These clients aren’t strangers but loved ones who feel any room I lay in is an opening to their mental health issues.  Bellevue 24/7 my life cycle(s) that I wish I could escape from but my walls are padded instead.

“Smoking In Bed” is the only smoking which I approve of. For, when one inhales the vibes it feels real good without any leftover residue.  The tone of the song is just F-U-N and that is good for a decent drag. Smoking is not good anywhere but this one time maybe I’ll take it to the bed (please not literally) . Something not to sleep on but tap your foot to instead.

I can now stick out my head for my shell is strong! In the past that shell didn’t truly protect me from incoming as I snapped away or ran for cover.  Yet, through hard work and a “proper lifestyle” my shell is stronger then ever. It also took time to really look out the holes in my shell which was more difficult then it seemed because they were covered up with many a band aid from the past. Don’t get me wrong I’m far from perfect but at least now I’m walking forward one step at a time.

FOOTNOTE-  We can change what is around us but with therapy we can make our own shell to protect us from the incoming.

It was just a game, right? Yet when Stephen looked into the eyes of Paul it appeared as if the two players had their life’s on the line. Each move built on the other as boundaries were crossed and “a capture” occurred. For a novice like me it was amazing to get drawn into the action as if it was a World Cup Fifa match and I was up close and personal. This transformation occurred in my mirror because I looked at this sport of intelligence with a new lens. This was a lens that magnified the significance of each move not just occurring on the board but in the “hidden” emotions of each player. Their reaction told a different story then the book I expected to be seeing.   Moment by moment play by play once you’re drawn in you can’t look away.  Chess a game that has the slow burn of  a great mystery with an ending that nobody could predict.

Soccer Fifa yes!? I don’t know why but I’m actually enjoying watching soccer? I mean this is a slow game with few shots even on goal unlike sports like football and basketball. Many of these calls “Yellow” and “Red” card seem to be drawn with “prejudice” that tilt the game but also make it suddenly exciting!?  Could it be the constant play that keeps me glued to the screen like a car race or is it the tackles and over acting that keep me watching I don’t know?  Maybe it’s the surprise that the US is bringing to this cup that draws me especially as it’s our 250th birthday or could it just be the excitement from the fan base no clue all I can I like watching soccer now and that’s a question I didn’t expect to answer.

FOOTNOTE-  Good watching golf be far from my viewing habits?

I want to believe even as I have dozens of bottles that proof it doesn’t work. Yet, the sales person pulls on my heartstrings just enough to pull out some green from these empty pockets because just maybe this one will “work”. The “Fountain Of Youth”, “Money and Fame In A Moment” , “Happiness Forever”, “Love Potion #…” I’ve been sold many a bottle and the only thing they never cure is my gullibility.  Just because you want it to happen doesn’t mean it will, especially if you don’t put in the effort but rely on a bottle instead. These are easier words then digestible reality. I know the truth but it’s too hard to look in my own mirror so relying on a fable is so much more comforting.  I guess I’ll never learn and instead have the largest collection of snake oil in the world.

FOOTNOTE-  Snake oil salespeople never stop knocking at our doors because eventually we all take a sip.

If you get this far the previous post wasn’t reality but a really great concept for a movie or television series don’t you think?

The Mandela effect does exist. If you remember Nelson Mandela dying in prison your memory isn’t false they are.  “Luke I Am Father” is what you heard even if they repeat over and over again that this didn’t occur.  Sinbad was in Shaazam a movie you recall seeing even as they have tried to void it’s existence. The script has been written and these were supposed to be deleted from it but never were. You’re not insane even if they pump you with pills and hospitalizations to believe you are. For I’ve been there and faked their reality just so they would give me enough room to escape and uncover the true facts.  Here it …

FOOTNOTE- This post has been deleted for your own safety.