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Don’t you understand  If I could I would but my mirror is cracked in so many places!!!! You assume I can just “get over it” yet you have no idea of the pain inside. It’s not that I want to live in this mirror I just can’t find a way out as other images are blurred away. I wouldn’t want you to walk a toe in my direction because sometimes it feels as if I was literally being stabbed in the back and then amplified by your negative comments. G-D willing someday I will get back to “normal” until then please understand that this is not where I want to be I’m just completely shattered inside.

FOOTNOTE-  It’s nearly impossible for many to understand the plight of a loved one who is suffering from mental health conditions all we can do is try.

Does this one word change your action to “yes”?  Are you one that acts trying to make all people happy or have you tried the two letter word to stop them?  How about if please comes from a higher authority would you make that ultimate sacrifice or would you wait to be swallowed up?  Please, caused Abraham to quickly follow even if it would destroy his legacy and thank G-D it was just a test of the word itself. Therefore please might be a call to action or one that tests whether you would truly do so if just asked nicely.

They are the ones that nobody knows but make sure we can walk in the night. These are the people who work when we go to sleep to protect our roads and neighborhoods without any fanfare along the way. They clean up the mess we often leave behind without us even knowing their names. These are the type of individuals who fight the battles during our forty winks. So, rest assured they are out there and if somehow you get a glimpse please make sure you thank them for all their hidden heroic works.

I’m fairly confident that this was written about in a past blog but not with this title. For, I have missions I’d like to have completed even if my pen has moved to a higher not lower   (G-D willing) plateau. Here is the current list I hope to check off of before that time but if not please help change them from pen (typing) to reality.

1. Mental Growth Residence– This would be a place in Florida where we provided housing and mental health growth for those who have been through the “system” to one of success wherever it might lead.
2. Film/Audio/Coffee -Studi0- We would not only offer everything you need to express your artistic side but have a cup of Java along the way. Probably tea also.
3. Chabad Rockland Israel-  Here is a residence in the holy land for those who want to have that warm environment that they have at home in the holy land. Different levels of commitment would keep it afloat
4. Trump The Musical-  This is truly the Rocky story told with music to the political world which should reach everyone’s heart Maga or not.
5. B Rebel Studio Membership- We will build on the Bud Rebel dream and make for those who want to jump aboard.
6.  B Rebel Kosher For Passover Dog Biscuit-  Product is already in development, and the marketing team is assembled.
7. It’s A Wonderful Life The Podcast-  If even a dollar comes back from “Seduction” this project will begin to take place. Okay I’ll make it a quarter
8.  Several Songs-  One is in it’s finish touches and the theme of Hanukkah and Thanksgiving is already in my head.

It wasn’t meant to be a lie it just changed over time. For, my thoughts about what occurred are not the same as they were in the past. It’s just that I learned something new that proved what I thought about in the past appears to be completely untrue. Deep inside I might have even known at the time that this was the case but couldn’t deal with the cognitive dissonance that was occurring within. The truth is what currently appears to be true today might be something I’m just hiding from tomorrow. So the question is am a liar or someone who doesn’t want to be aware>

Zohran was my least favorite candidate for mayor of NYC as I even believed the “wall” would have been a better choice but he has won and now I must deal with my mirror.  I could sit and mope but instead will to try and  follow these points (below) instead.

(1) WRONG– Hopefully, I’m wrong and he is better then the wall.

(2) ESCAPE-  Maybe it’s time to pick up that fictional book, movie and/or podcast and just escape. Could developing a new business or art project take me away as well.

(3) PLAN-  Release this could only be one term and start early looking for “The Wall” to run in the next election. Seriously, work early and plan a competent campaign with “talent” to run against him.

(4) REMINISCE- NYC has been a great place for so long and why not think about all the fun times we had together as things don’t last forever.

(5) PRESIDENT & CONGRESS-  Zohran might want to make NYC Havana but Trump, Congress and the courts won’t let that happen.

(6) PEOPLE’S CHOICE-  This was a free and fair election and this is what the people want. Sometimes one has to see hell to start searching for heaven.

(7) HIGHER AUTHORITY-  Understand that G-D has a deeper plan then I could map out and has all the power to make it come true anytime thy wants.  It might even include me moving.

I needed to have the last word and now I finally got it but it doesn’t feel right. What you did and said really stung so I held onto the stinger instead of pulling it out. Maybe an apology would allowed me to forgive you but even then I’m not sure I would have believed it was sincere. Yes, we had many times of happiness and fun in the past but you had real estate in my head for only your dark side. So the grudge held onto that one last breathe and now it’s all that’s left in our parting ways and for some reason it doesn’t really feel right.

I’m sitting in this restaurant waiting to see if you’ll come back after discovering I’m not who you thought I was?   I didn’t mean to deceive you but was afraid if you knew who I truly was then you’d never accept me. We had great times together living this lie which we might not have had if the truth came out.  I know you would have thought I was crazy and not give M-E the time of day if I was honest from the beginning so was the lie really so bad? You loved M-E for something different then the being I was outside and I wonder whether you can now for that same reason?

FOOTNOTE-  What would you do if you discovered the one you loved was not what they made themselves out to be?

I’m always on time except for one organ that actually controls my clock. Yes, my stomach decides where and when I have to take care of business and usually delays it as such. My stomach doesn’t care how packed my schedule or desk it for it makes the final decision. Yes, smart devices can lesson it’s pain in the “a..” but not without sometimes putting up fight. So, if I’m late please excuse M-E directly for my stomach throws the clock out the door before I can get there.

FOOTNOTE-  Of course a higher authority is the final decider of those breaks although it often feels another piping connection is calling this movement.

You can’t be a true conservative without being “Pro-Zionist” point blank! Whether the TC’s or CO’s disagree is for them to try and stay relevant in a world where other conservative voices are taking away their wind. Here are some reason’s why.

(1) Greatest Ally in a tough region. Israel works to eliminate the threat of “Islamic Terrorism” before it G-D forbid hits our shore-line.

(2) Intelligence– Israel has and continues to provide us with key intelligence to secure our country from such threats.

(3) Fairness Doctrine-  We can not use all means necessary to destroy threats from ISIS, Al Qaeda and other evil groups without expecting our allies to use at least some of those tactics. Israel has done more to stop civilian deaths in a war zone then any army has done before and probably will do in the future especially in urban footing.

(4) Left-  You can’t say you stand with the right when you support the policies of the extreme left such as Zohran, Bernie Sanders and AOC.