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It only hurts because they mean so much too Y-O-U !! If it was just a stranger they would fade into your mind but the rage you feel is based on that perceived “betrayal”. One that is not only based on them but the abandonment you’ve felt all your life. For, when someone gets close to Y-O-U they always appear to take out the knife so why not protect yourself first before they can make that stab really stick.  Of course this is figurative but the pain is truly real and unless you get some help it will be a continual cycle that in the end your mirror will be the only one looking back.

FOOTNOTE-  Personality disorders are “really painful” to those that suffer from them and their loved ones who are often confused if they are truly loved especially “unconditionally”.

TRUMP-  You’re not going to treat me that way.

IRAN- Yeah, what are you going to do about it.

TRUMP- What are you stupid haven’t you seen we’ve taken all your cards!

IRAN-  No, I’m still in charge.

TRUMP- I can’t hear you anymore.

IRAN- What are you trying to give us the silent treatment.

TRUMP- I think I hear some little ant.

IRAN- You can’t talk to me like that.

TRUMP- Oops that ant is getting annoying. Time to step on it.

IRAN- Wait, wait.

TRUMP- Oh, look isn’t that a beautiful new Iran.

It is not who I am but one others put on M-E. When I looked at the mirror the only image I saw was the one that others portrayed with an occasional peak into something deeper. Now, with my therapist I find a new M-E that strangely doesn’t look like the “character” I’ve been portraying all this time and I sorta like him. For, with all the flaws and toxic experiences it’s still the authentic M-E and I’m not so bad after all even with the cuts Y-O-U dug into that mask. I took off the glue and hey I’m actually “beautiful” after all.

If you knew the daggers thrown my way you’d wonder why this water didn’t steam before. My punishment is actually the first taste of peace I’ve had for years as the path I was walking on was filled with eggs already broken. I would do my best to swerve around one only to hit by another that I never saw coming.  Sometimes it was just a drop that couldn’t be shut off in the middle of a night to days upon days of floods that swept my body, mind and soul away. In the end this was the only way I could keep some form of “sanity” even if it cost me my freedom peace of mind was just worth it.

Warning This Post Is Controversial

My Christian Brothers & Sisters are from the same family. Yes, we disagree about the ending but let us not forget that Jesus was a practicing Jew and if you follow his life in particular your faith is just a sect different then ours.  If Reform Judaism are forms of the bigger Jewish picture why not therefore invite Christians to the table? Many of those from this faith have also been bigger supporters of the holy land then those who were “born into it”.   Let’s cut the BS the idea of a praying to a person who lived on this earth is something that we won’t put in the good book yet the other parts might just be enough to bring us together for the common good.   Therefore Christian Brothers & Sisters I believe your membership includes being part of our family and the welcome matt is open at my door.

Even if the deal is signed to close ones business it still can exist and flourish across the road. For the “new business” might still be able to incorporate the talents and experience of those that previously walked there and maybe even some of the supplies. For example a real estate developer might incorporate the talents of the hardware store that they bought to build their dreams while another developer might just have hungry mouths to feed from the supermarket they were closing.  Therefore, just because one entity closes another doesn’t mean another can’t be born from the exchange.

I experienced two jump scares that I would incorporate in my G-D willing next film. One occurred in a place where an individual can’t easily escape the bathroom. As I was grabbing a piece of toilet paper I “suddenly” noticed about 10 inch worms crawling all over the paper in different directions and one that suddenly crawled on my hand (that part I just added). The second attack actually occurred previously and was in a spot everyone would conclude is generally peaceful. When placing some garbage in an enclosed garbage can “suddenly” a squirrel jumped out landing on my arm (last part added for effect). Now, if you’re not jumping it’s because you haven’t seen in real life or the movies…yet.

In one day I went to a celebration that marked the beginning of life in another the pain of losing another’s beat.   I went from a Bris the inauguration of a male child into the Jewish tribe to a Shiva the mourning of losing a life.  It was basically a complete bi-polar day although the Shiva was sorta letting the suffering end.   This is one of the reasons I don’t want to wear these “hats” (above).  Maybe it’s a sign from above to try and make each morning feel brand as one doesn’t really know how it will end.