Celery has been banned because it has been found to be the common string. The one component that all Mass Shooters have in common in the dietary fibers. After banning guns President Warren has decided this must be the next step. Any person who buys a piece of celery must be registered and proof that it is necessary for their diet. People also will be checked at the TSA to see if celery is in their diet. “It’s time we put an end to these shootings and I’ll find something I can pin it on”, said President Warren.
FOOTNOTE- G-D forbid this becomes our new reality.