These 4 words might be the best way to deal with a conflict before it actually erupts. For no matter what you think someone says the meaning behind the words is what really counts. These 4 words leave an opening where the person who feels trapped with other words they might not have meant or are just hurtful can escape from. It allows you to better understand the other person as a well without putting them on the defensive. “What do you mean” has more meaning then anything else one would have thought.