Monthly Archives February 2019

Which news breaks for you the one which is your house or the one which is farther then you can see with your naked eye? Are you fixated on what occurs in your neighborhood or a block in Venezuela, Tehran, Jerusalem or Washington D.C.?  Do you sometimes neglect what is front of your doorstop only to stare at the skies instead or are you so preoccupied with your doorstop that you miss the Meteor falling from the sky? I guess it’s a balance in everyone’s life that tilts based on their concerns, interests and how big their world is to them.

They have left this realm but I still feel their presence. It’s in the places I continue to visit even if they are not sitting across from me anymore.  It’s in the conversations I have even though they are not responding anymore.  It’s even in the way I live my life even though they are not alive with me. For they have left a legacy in the way I exist on this planet in many ways that are past my conscious and in that way they are still with me everyday.

Last night insanity peaked it’s ugly way back into my life as a loved one was triggered to act out in a bizarre, confusing and honestly frightening way over words that appeared innocuous to those who don’t suffer from mental health issues. In my life episodes like this have happened way to often and I usually have a way to blow out the fuse yet even if it doesn’t explode painful residue is still left over.  Did they actually mean what they said during there episodes or was it just the infection letting out?  Even if they didn’t mean those words am I not to feel the knife wounds (not literally)?  What can I do to prevent these episodes from occurring again if anything or what eggshells can’t I drop? Mental Health issues don’t just effect those who have the illness but those who are around to witness the pain.

They say that life is a blessing for me it’s a curse as I watched all my loved one’s depart like pedals from a flower. I’m the last one here and although a new generation hearkens I long to see those who have gone before. There is nobody here that truly understands what I’ve seen and gone through for they might read it in a history book while it has left marks all over my body and soul.  I don’t know what I did to be the last one left all I know is I hope I’m forgiven to return home to those that have left me many, many years ago.

FOOTNOTE- Koku Istambulova  has passed away at 129 and G-D willing now she lives on with her loved ones.  I for one don’t share this believe but I’m also not in the count.

The vile pictures of Ralph Northam as either a KKK member or the black faced man from a 1984 law yearbook are disgusting yet the words that the man spoke just a day ago should even  be more repulsive.   I can not justify those pictures as a youthful indiscretion because they were taken when he was in medical school far from the years when those excuses could be made yet we should listen to any contents that might be found. For maybe he was in a dark comedy skit that at the time was meant for jokes and not at all to be taken seriously. Yet his words of just a few days ago were carefully thought out as he discussed the procedure of infanticide with the world. Words that were very close to be taken into action as Virginia was on the verge of passing this hideous legislation.  Pictures of hate and words of death one is wrong the other is deadly.

The main purpose of the Bud Rebel Show is to present the ideas (good, bad, funny, sad, silly, serious) to a larger audience so that they can have a greater impact on the world in some positive way but would it taste better if I was just the ingredients? If I left the talent to other talented individuals and just stood in the background would the pie be more crispy? G-D has such a presence in most of our lives but I’m just a simple man so is the role I would want to play with this pie? I’m not sure because I do love the stage and feel I have something unique to offer on it even if it’s just a bit of the crust. All I know is the discussion is getting me hungry and it’s time to start cooking either way.