Our service guarantees that you’ll meet you’re special person from the 1st date or we’ll give you a double refund. A person who will find you delightful to be with from the moment they set eye’s on U. We can’t guarantee it will last but when …uh I mean if it ends they’ll be a really powerful reason (deported, prison etc). How can we make such a bold statement well let’s just say we have the resources to make dates come true.
SMALL PRINT- Part of the monies you pay for this service will be to hire a “professional person” who will insure a fun evening for you without your need to know.
FOOTNOTE- This isn’t true…maybe. It also would make an interesting film.