The court finds you guilty as charged for the following crimes (below). You will be sent to the dog house with leniency for good behavior or licks.
(1) INDECENT EXPOSURE- Even the cartoon characters wear a shirt
(2) SEXUAL HARRASMENT– It might not actually be sexually but it is harrassment how many licks can one person take …and the ear?
(3) STALKING- Maybe a little room would be nice. I’m literally being smothered.
(4) PUBLIC DEFECATIONS– This would be excused since the toilet doesn’t fit your body type but my kitchen floor give me a break and some wipes.
FOOTNOTE- See being a dog isn’t so bad after all for these are crimes we with 2 legs would be sent to the pound for.