Maybe I’ve been hurt so much that I can’t feel the pain anymore in my heart. For just as a lobster doesn’t realize that the heat is rising so I feel that I won’t react until it’s too late. If I search behind my shell the pain will ooze out but my conscious would rather have it hidden so it can propel me to action that I can control. Yet lately the fault lines are opening and I’m afraid that my pain will only be anger at the end.