In my own personal life I believe that I have to earn certain successes to deserve certain rewards even if society is willing to give me the prize. This has struck some of my loved one’s with a bit of concern for the way I think. It is not if I will kick a gift horse or sheep in the mouth but sometimes I’d rather send it on it’s way if I feel I’m unworthy, until certain objectives are met. The crazy thing is I’m not exactly sure what those successes will be but I guess I’ll know when I see them. Overtime though I’ve given this way of thinking a bit more slack maybe because I’m not sure if I’ll be able to hit those objectives in the time I’ve been allotted or maybe because I’ve forgotten about earlier successes I’ve achieved. Either way earning my rewards based on my internal objectives has allowed me to appreciate the gifts to myself with a greater feeling of contentment then receiving them according to societal standards.
14
January