funny

I have Hillary Clinton’s Server and it reveals….that you should attend “Secrets in the Film-making industry” today  1/31/16 11AM at 18 Montebello, Road in Montebello, NY.  It is true that these will not be secrets on national security (which shouldn’t be kept on a private server) but secrets concerning a film industry that you never knew or were afraid to ask.  It is also true that this wasn’t actually found on her server but it’s also true that Hillary likes Tomatoes. Got you thinking….

Secrets in the Film Industry– 18 Montebello Road, Montebello, NY 11AM be  there or be kept in the dark- video will be released to watch in the dark later.

For all the years that I’ve cooked on the stove this was one that was obvious, so how did I not know.  The classic Hot Chocolate is not to be made with Water but Milk. How many Hot Chocolates have been wasted down the sink instead of my mouth before I learned this obvious lesson. What is the recourse for those “could have been moments”? I guess my punishment is knowing what could have been? For what could have been enjoyed has been lost forever yet the future is brighter now that the obvious right combination has been discovered.  Now what goes with Peanut Butter?

Be afraid….be very afraid for the first snow of the season is upon us and you forgot the Milk!  What will you do can you survive a full day without Milk… but it’s worse I’ve been told you only have enough paper towels to last 2 days what happens if you can’t get out of the house? Will you have to resort to Toilet Paper? Say it ain’t snow just say it ain’t! Evil Snow is upon us and will we survive the weekend? Some how I believe you can make it even if you don’t have enough Milk or Toilet Paper… but what about the cookies?

Everyone has heard the term “no pain no gain” but how about a compromise? I’ll take a little pain for a little gain. Don’t get me wrong a six pack would be great but it’s fine if I still fit in my pants without having to use pliers.  Running miles would be great but running a mile is sufficient (maybe a quick walk).  I’m still trying to achieve my best but I’m just willing to take that best over a few days or even months.   A little pain is fine but too much and I’ll just take a nap instead.

If you are talking and the one you speak to obviously doesn’t understand the conversation or has their ears shut are you talking to yourself?  I’m of course  am talking about the deep conversation you might have with your four legged friend when they are just thinking about bones or your daughter in I world while you’re in the real world. What truly is the difference between this and talking to that flying pink Elephant (he’s not really Pink). Of course I understand the Elephant isn’t really (sorry) but neither is your conversation with I world or Snoopy.  Let’s face it we all talk to ourselves it’s only when they talk about that we truly have to worry.  Even when “I Daughter” actually responds with a conversation that is more then 2 words should we consider seeking professional help (texting doesn’t count).

ET Syndrome =  Feelings of severe high and eventually low mood swings that happen on a seasonal basis as your team has it’s moments then collapses repeatedly.   This syndrome continues every year as expectations rise as if nothing happened the year before.

CURE =  Although there is no cure fans recommend watching the games for the moments and celebrating each victory as if the team won the World Series and or Super Bowl. Also have copies of the 1986 Met’s World Series Win and 1969 Jet’s Super Bowl Win readily available. If all else fails there’s always basketball in between, let’s go Nets!

You have just clawed yourself out of bed and pulled off your clothes ready for the most invigorating part of your morning ritual when it’s COLD!!!   Yes, of course it gets you up but so does a smack in the face and who wants to start a day that way. I understand a cold shower is good for your skin but my skeleton really hates it. . I also understand that I might be lowering my carbon footprint by taking a cold shower but I’d rather take a shower in the dark then turn off this heat.  The cost is no burden to bear for I will work hours longer in the dog shift just to feel a few more moments in a nice hot shower. A cold shower is cruel and unusual punishment to start the day and I believe it should be banned from my life forever.

I am called on to give my “expert opinion” on the latest trade or play even though I have no clue.  The truth is if you want to give your opinions and start a conversation where a jacket or shirt with some type of logo.  For all of a sudden you’re a prime sponsor of this team or individual and have some inside scoop that the world needs to know.  It couldn’t be that you were wearing it because it was the fastest jacket or shirt you could find, matched your clothes or smelled a bit better then the one you left on the floor? BE WARNED- If you accept wearing logo’s you must accept the responsibility of knowledge behind them otherwise learn how to bluff well.

I accepted much in my life but on this one issue you can call me a rock a very heavy one in deed.  I will accept that people actually enjoy watching reality shows and believe that President Obama is a good President (it might take a bottle of Vodka for that one) yet I’m standing the ground on my GRITS.  That’s right a loved one (I hope she still is) said my Grits were not to her liking! Is that insane? My grits were perfectly cooked with of course a dash of salt, a bit of butter, slice or two of Horseradish Cheddar and just a tab  of Banana (trust me it added that extra touch) and she had the gall to see it’s not to her liking! No I won’t accept this!  I’ll find out later that this is some displaced angry brought on be me not sharing her feelings, or something like that and my Grits were just the target! For my Grits will not accept this verdict we will win and she will love them and so will you whether you like or not!

Sometimes to the outside world I wonder if I’m just another dollar bill to them. I come home to a stack of bills or charitable causes that only love me for the money I can give. I go to stores and restaurants that appear to smile at me but the smile becomes bigger when they see a Benjamin Franklin VS the first President.  My work counts on me to bring in the bacon but the paper type.  My children, family and friends love me but I’m sure they love me more  when Benjamin Franklin or Visa is involved in our relationship.  This blog is the only place I know where people come to here my thoughts without any money interests involved … yet they’re are some great ideas that could make them some monies. And to think people why wonder why Donald Trump is so popular?