funny

I will not be writing about how J. Lo claims she hasn’t insured her butt for 1 million dollars (although it would make sense) at this blog post. For Jennifer Lopez is an extremely talented star from her singing, acting and dancing abilities that too much is made of her physical attributes but I can understand how others see things.  It’s just that we should be looking at the whole person and by focusing on one part we sometimes can miss that but we are only human and eyes do drift.  If I was to write about Mrs. Lopez rear end it would be quite complimentary but that is the least (well maybe not so small) of her fine and wonderful attributes but …oh forget it.

Let’s say you went to cut your nose down to size and they mixed your surgery up with someone who wanted another part cut off?  I’m sure there is reconnecting surgery to deal with such problems but that’s only if  the part was saved instead of discarded for who wants to look through a garbage dispenser to find this piece?  A malpractice suit might persuade them to continue this search but even if you were lucky enough to find the missing piece  and put it back together would everything work the same?  Therefore before they give you the MJ juice make sure your doctor has your name and parts in the right order for a simple name mistake here can spell a lifetime of difference.

I used to blame the washing machine for my lost socks but now I understand it’s one with four legs and a tail instead. For some reason this dirty smelly garbs are delicious to these creatures but smelling butts is also wonderful to them.  So the next time your looking for your socks ask “Spot” instead for if it’s not in his/her mouth it’s kept in their location to enjoy for hours after you left home. Did anyone see my belt or sneakers…”Spot”?

Lately my predictions have been as good as weather reporters and I don’t get paid so I decided to try reverse psychology. I’m making a prediction that I hope doesn’t occur and if this is the case I will be predicting Donald all the way throughout the Republican Primary. If on the other hand this prediction does come true (G-D forbid…please) then I at least will have a winning streak of one to build on.  All I know is that I hope this prediction works as well as  my Superbowl pick … Carolina.

Guacamole saved me $$$ not just by avoiding a visit to the doctor’s office for my physical health but helping me with my financial well being as well.  For it only takes a few ingredients to make this delicious healthy dish and when one is missing it’s surely left behind.  Yes, I left the Cilantro along with other ingredients in the supermarket and if I didn’t decide to make Guacamole that night they would have stayed there along with the free cash I was providing this store.  Another reason Guacamole is a good investment in your life.

As I stepped into New  Hampshire I truly experienced  their motto “Live Free or Die”!  For as I was leaving the car my seat belt got stuck in the door and as a result a new freedom was experienced that I never expected.  It was the first time in many years that I drove a car with out a seatbelt on.  Come to think of it I’m not sure if it was complete freedom because I didn’t have a choice, my seat belt was  stuck.  The Die part of the motto ran through my head as well for if I was in an accident during that time being the appearance of a Scythe was clearer then ever.  Luckily this motto died quickly in my car as my seatbelt was pushed in it’s proper position (with help from friends) and my freedom to wear or not wear my seat belt was back in my hands and life.

If you think that coffee wakes you up wait till it’s spilled.  Yes it doesn’t matter whether it’s hot or even coffee a matter of fact but spill one drop and your adrenaline will bring you back to life more then 3 Espresso’s  and those are doubles.  I can’t say it will last as long as the Espresso’s will (unless you keep spilling) but it will definitely start the engine running.   Spilling Coffee might not be the neediest trick to wake you up in the morning but it just might be the most effective.  Further note the writer only advises professionals to attempt this move (lawyers note) and please bring napkins.

Frederick Douglas was a great American who fought for basic freedom and dignity for all American’s but had a terrible barber.  I know this is quite a superficial look at such a wonderful historic figure in American History but appearances do matter and now even his Doodle has the same problem.  His hair makes Donald Trumps hair look real.   There must have been a good day for Frederick Douglas and his hair and I believe even if we have to bend history a bit let’s do something with this hair.  To conclude Frederick Douglas is a great man who we should take pride in and even emulate except with the stuff growing from his head.

I have Hillary Clinton’s Server and it reveals….that you should attend “Secrets in the Film-making industry” today  1/31/16 11AM at 18 Montebello, Road in Montebello, NY.  It is true that these will not be secrets on national security (which shouldn’t be kept on a private server) but secrets concerning a film industry that you never knew or were afraid to ask.  It is also true that this wasn’t actually found on her server but it’s also true that Hillary likes Tomatoes. Got you thinking….

Secrets in the Film Industry– 18 Montebello Road, Montebello, NY 11AM be  there or be kept in the dark- video will be released to watch in the dark later.