I’ve should have forgotten you but somehow you still follow my neurons around. You are the song that suddenly out of the blue I can’t get out of my head. I might have forgotten what I ate for breakfast yesterday but still can remember your lyrics from 10 years ago. I don’t remember if I truly liked your song when it came out but now your Crazy Glue in my head. I’ve concluded, there is nothing I can do but listen to the haunting memory that continues to play on the record player in my head.
Don’t tell me it doesn’t figure out you’re not looking at my chart. You all are against me even if you try to site some good you’ve done way in the past or for not the best of intentions. I don’t know why I have had to endure such betrayal in my life but every time I get close another pulls me away. That is why I keep searching for new friends to fill in the spots where others left behind. There is no reason for me to get help when the world around me is truly the ones that are sick. My circle is getting smaller but that is only because I realize now how others have been against me. I’m not sick but the picture I live in doesn’t make me feel too well.
FOOTNOTE- Trying to help those who won’t look in the mirror can bring many cracks to your own life but if successful you can truly save a life.
O.S. -Technical Noises- Door Opens
MATT– By golly I think I’ve got it!!!
SALLY – Yawns. If you don’t get some sleep you’ll give it to everyone else.
MATT- I know, I know. I’m basically working on fumes after 17 hours straight. But it’s ready right now.
O.S. Technical Noises
SALLY – What the hell is that?
MATT- It’s a portal way in to the future to 2023
SALLY- Jesus, you really did it!
MATT- Yes, but the minutes are ticking. We need to jump into now and note the door back will be a minute as well.
SALLY- What can you do in a minute back and forth.
MATT- I don’t know but if I don’t go now and return in time my love this opportunity will pass forever.
O.S. – Matt’s Footsteps.
MATT- Just note I love ……
O.S. – Technical noises, Landing noises
MATT- I’ve landed in some type of drink place. I’m going to get a coffee for I’m exhausted.
BARISTA- Sir, are you ok? You look…
MATT- I’m just a little um tired. Do you have coffee.
BARISTA- Hello, this is Starbucks.
MATT- Okay, I’ll get a large coffee with Milk.
BARISTA- What kind of Milk.
MATT- Kind of Milk um what do you have?
BARISTA- We have soy, two percent, regular …
MATT- Just um regular
BARISTA- Do you want it in a Latte, Expresso, type format?
MATT- Just coffee with Milk
BARISTA- Would you like to add a flavor. We still have Pumpkin Spice available today only.
MATT- This Trumps what anyone would have expected
BARISTA- I’m going to have to ask you to leave that was very triggering.
MATT- What?
MATT- Can’t I just get a coffee with Milk!!
O.S.- Technical noises
MATT- You!!
SALLY- You made it back thank G-D !! How was the future?
MATT- Scary especially when it comes to coffee.
They told me I was a victim while they profited from my “victimhood”. While others outside my world were to be blamed for the misery I lived in, those who represented “me” ate with silver spoons as I nimbled on their trash. They built grand structures to defend against the infidel with monies meant to keep our people afloat as we drowned in misery. These individuals in the high towers declared war against the dreaded foe while we took the bombs and bullets. It then became painfully clear that these evil “leaders” occupied our mind and land not the ones who we supposedly fought against. We were victims but of a world we created made of lies, hate and power that gained from our victimhood.
Who are the people who protest in the street for the good of “Hamas”? These “individuals” can be broken up into the following “categories” (below).
(1) “Useful Idiots” – They oppose any war for any reason. No war is justified to these individuals except for the ones that eliminate their pollical enemies.
(2) “In Crowd” These are the individuals who jump into any “cause” that appears to gain them popularity in their crowd.
(3) “Innocent Focused” Truly the kindest of the group. These people are hyper sensitive to the victims of war. War truly sucks except when it’s truly needed to eliminate evil.
(4) “Victim Culture Extremist” They need some big powerful group to blame even if that group is truly the victim of heinous actions.
(5) “Anti-Semites” Yes, I’ve ignored this crowd for too long. There is a constant despicable historical hate of the Jewish people that has never truly gone away.
I’m still waiting for the pin to drop. Yes, the World Series has occurred and it couldn’t have been more quiet. Maybe the world events have taken over their spot or that it isn’t as easy to find when there was just basic cable yet somehow the World Series doesn’t even feel local. It used be all the rage but now I’m wondering is it even invited to the party. By the way the Texas Rangers won.
How is one not only survive but thrive when a loved one has a chronic mental illness? Here is some advise I’ve seen work in my life if only I’d follow it more.
(1) Take Care Of Oneself – It’s easy to get sucked into the life of those that are suffering but you can’t truly help them unless you give your self needed space and escape. Whether it’s a routine at the gym, writing, reading speaking to a therapist or just letting go with friends. Just make sure you take care of your needs as well.
(2) Different Life- Try not to compare your life in anyway with those who are in a different situation. The more you compare the more it can hurt. Do what is best for your individual situation.
(3) Logical Is Not Logical- Don’t try to rationalize with a loved one who is having an episode just try to relate to the pain that their own emotions are putting them through. Emotions are real even if what set them off may not be.
(4) You Will Lose- This is not a debate you can win for those that are suffering can be the greatest lawyers against their own best interests. Yes, state your point but then move on.
(5) Have An Escape- Find a way for your mind and body if need be to escape from an episodic event whether it be in the arts, work, gym or walk
(6) You Are A Projector- Try not to take things to personally especially when their projector is running.
(7) Breathe In- Make an extra effort to breathe in the good times and hold them in your head a bit longer. The difficult times will occur but if you can lesson their impact their effect will be lessoned as well.
(8) Find A Quick Page Turner- Redirect, redirect and did I say redirect. Trust me it will help you get through those difficult illogical moments.
Now to listen to my own advise.
The clock is standing still as I wait for “them”. Yet when they wait for M-E it truly wasn’t that long. I don’t know how this occurs it’s just a “fact” that perception tells me is correct. Time is flexible especially when one is waiting for others to make it move.
I didn’t agree just wrote for, until the words starting becoming my own. My job was to write for another who didn’t have the time to respond even though my “honest” responses would have been a whole lot different. It was a job but the responses I received clouded my positions till I starting believing many an untruth just to fit in. I thought my mind was set until the responses told me how flexible it could become. Now, I don’t know where I stand only how it makes me feel to “stand on their side”.
If one knows the punch is coming should one feel the pain before said impact? For, if someone does so would this cause the actual feeling to lesson or last longer? Is the object falling on the individual the impact of the emotion or the realization that this is about to occur? The only way to determine is to say “Ouch” 1st and then move away from what would occur at the last moment. “Ouch” 1st check the impact before it actually occurs.