Yesterday when I went to the gym all my insecurities from the past came back in a moments notice. It was the cool tough cliche at the gym hanging out and when I tried to my comments about their conversation I felt like they became deaf. This reminded me of the times in glorious High School where I would continually worry if someone would sit with me at lunch or face the shame of sitting alone.
It also led me to my realization that although I might belong to a group I still might feel like I’m outside looking in. I had a dream that symbolized this feeling as I kept walking around and around a restaurant never to find the entrance while watching everyone else have fun. I’ve belonged to many groups and even started groups, at times I truly felt like I belonged but other times my individual spirit wouldn’t let me get any closer. In the end I guess it is a feeling we all have but if we are closer to the divine source we are truly never alone.