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When making a film one must walk a thin rope of disturbance especially today. You must upset what your viewer expects to see without going over the top to offend them if you want them to stay till the end. Disturbances add excitement, shock and authenticity to your project.  The problem is  there are so many options out there so that line must stay firm and that is why we see so many reboots/remakes of classic films by the “big studios”. Yet art demands touching the third rail even for a second. I guess in the end one should touch but just for enough time not to disturb.

Mother’s Day is a time without for M-E and millions upon millions of fellow  of my fellow “orphans”. My beloved mother has passed away several years ago but still brings pain to my heart during this time of year. I believe she truly is in a better place but still miss her. My mother was my biggest cheerleader and now the cheers come much less often.  Yet, I’m truly grateful for the special time we had together and will due my utmost to keep those positive memories alive even as she is not here. My cup is 1/2 full because I was blessed to have her with me for all those years.  I just ask those who are blessed to have their mothers with them now to give them an extra hug from me as our time is not guaranteed except for the special time you have now.

I’m planning to come out this June but in a way my “friend” never expected. See, I’m playing a role to get closer to her then any heterosexual could because once your “gay” things can suddenly be a whole lot happier. She has revealed sides to me that will help make our relationship just right and is not embarrassed to get naked figuratively as well as one on the page. So, when I let her “convert” me to the other side I’ve always been on she’ll be so proud. Of course this might not last because my previous “history” is not really in any closet but for the moment it is worth the “fake” as things are about to get a whole lot interesting.

Sometimes it’s good to travel only a few blocks away to see great entertainment as”The Sabbath Girl” at the Penguin Theatre fits this bill.  It showed that a small stage can fill ones big heart. The actors such as Marilyn Caserta, Rory Max Kaplan and Max Wolkowitz lit up the stage with standing ovation performances.  You might even have to bring a long  a Kleenex with your playbill as I can guarantee a watery eye along the way. Yes, we knew where the story was going but we still enjoyed the ride to get there.  The characters were so well developed that it filled in where the music just didn’t.  “The Sabbath Girl” local, small theater lives and thrives in this viewers heart.

How long can I sit in this position?  If there was true peace in and around M-E would I truly be happy or would I need some tension in this picture?  I’ve never had such a picture in my landscape longer then a car race so I have no clue but I wonder? Would I have the desire to create if things were just so “peaceful” or would I become a lump of clay? Sometimes the greatest art comes from dark places and if there was light would my productions be that way as well? In the end  do I truly want peace for life or just long enough breaks in it to so that I could just dream of more?

If I’m going to step into the dark side it’s got to be good real good.  I’m not going to risk it all just for a quick taste that leaves me with an after bite must be something that stays with me even after I dig in.  The risk isn’t worth it so it’s either really good or not good enough for me to be bad.

I accept that I feel abandoned and because of that often put more in the story then actually occurs. For when someone doesn’t call me back right away I believe they have left me instead of just the fact they didn’t call.  Radical acceptance means accepting your true image hidden deeper in the mirror then the one you normally look at.

Knowing it can never be frees oneself to just “be”.  There is no hidden agenda that one has to worry about since there is no possibility that it could work. Therefore the true honest person is revealed and sometimes that never be actually becomes a reality nobody ever expected.

Here is your Monday song which will bring you some sunshine even if the sky is covered in rain drops.  “Calling After Me” by the Wallows is just the fun you deserve to have even if it’s 5 days till that actually begins again.  So dance and sing between your cup of Java this Monday with a bit of Wallows on the side.

That boy has cried every morning as I fear eventually he’ll be a dinner and we will only fine the bones.  Yes, there are problems but the clock has gone past twelve and keeps running.  Yet every time you he cries with anxiety makes it less likely we will respond when the bites have begun.  Things are rough out there so try to be a bit rougher inside otherwise both will be eaten and nobody will know till it’s too late.