With all the anger I can’t hear you so I’m going to try to use E-A-R. This technique will allow me to core on and what you are truly feeling even if it’s covered in deep dark toxic language. You can’t hear my point of view so I’ll just send boundaries after E-A-R is effectively put into effect. Therefore, first I will (E)empathize with the pain you feel inside then I make sure I give you the (A) attention to hear it all out and finally I will (R) respect those feeling without conditions. This might totally go against how I truly want to respond but considering the “blame you person” I’m dealing with this probably is the only way to defuse the “bomb”.
FOOTNOTE- I discovered this technique when reading “It’s All Your Fault” by Bill Eddy”