I’m stupid that’s why!! Logically I know that things won’t change until you truly seek professional help but emotionally I cling to better days. For, the days that are good are pretty damn good even if I know the clock is evaporated before sunrise. I’m not even sure that the good days are so heavenly they’re just so much better than the hell I feel in-between. Yes, realistically I know this isn’t the only fish bowl but I’m afraid to swim upstream. Maybe we’re co-dependent where I want to continue to be your savior even as I’m cursed by the one I’m trying to save. Yet the waters I’m swimming in are getting more perilous so I have to stop running in circles and find a path out of this mess.