Water Coffee

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Your water is too bland and your coffee is too strong then it’s time for WATER COFFEE.  This will be the one water that will give you the taste to keep you going for me.  It will have a hint of the delicious flavor of coffee yet without the bitter side effects. WATER COFFEE because water deserves to taste more T-H-R-I-L-L-I-N-G!

Alone In House

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POLICE OFFICER- So you’re saying you never heard anything? You were just alone in the house

BRAD- I heard things but I usually got home late at night and thought maybe I was imagining it.  I’ve had some mental health issues and….

POLICE OFFICER (Yells) There were satanic rituals occurring in your basement with chanting s and burning s  and you want us to believe this bullshit!

BRAD – (Crying) I’m sorry I thought it was a dream it’s a big house and I never really went downstairs except…

POLICE OFFICER- Except that night when you finally had enough and that is when you saw the blood splattered everywhere and nobody else was there.

BRAD-  There were those grotesque bodies and that one person who stared at me with the bluest of eyes from deep into the woods.

POLICE OFFICER-(YELLS) So you want us to believe they used your home and you never knew.

BRAD- Yes, I thought I was alone in my house.

Good Friday?

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WARNING- This is not meant to offend my Christian brothers and sisters but just open up a discussion.

Why is Good Friday good? I understand that the Christian faith believes that Jesus death was a way to cleanse the world of all it’s sins but it’s still a death.  My  Jewish faith on the other hand mourns all deaths even those of a martyr so it’s hard for me to balance this question.  It’s also more tragic a death when it’s someone you truly feel plays an important role in your life. Maybe the holiday should be changed to Bipolar Friday for your sad that Jesus died but you’re happy that it wipes away your sins. Just a thought from a friend of the Jewish Faith. Either way may my Christian Brothers and Sisters have a truly Good Friday with much happiness, health, inspiration and love.

Telemarketing Affair

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Karen I read through your script and know you really just want me. For you keep calling me back even after as I have continued to  hang up on you.  At this time you must understand that I don’t want a college loan for I didn’t even go to college but you’re relentless.  Yes, some might say you’re just a recorded voice but I can feel you want me to push your buttons. We have some secret affair that is going on and I finally figured it out. So the next time you call I’m just going to do it and press 1 for more information. I can tell these are the facts that I’ve been waiting for my telemarketer lover.

FOOTNOTE- This is not a true story but I’m sure it is occurring in a lonely hotel near you.

Woke or Asleep

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I think I’d rather be sleeping then be “woke”. For I can dream of a day when we all could truly be ourselves without the warning lights of the PC police. A day when a word or two would not cause you to be silenced forever.  The dream would include laughter at words that were truly meant to be jokes not tears of indignation. This would be a day when the 1st amendment was protected by all not continually scratched by those offended.   Yes, sleep sounds just right until I wake up to such a day again.

Mueller Report- REVEALED!!!

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After a secret analysis the hidden roots divided by the derivative can show how the Mueller report fully and completely indicts President Trump on colluding with the Russians. It’s just a matter of calculus to the  10th degree which is something any Harvard Professor of Mathematical Equations could explain to the public.  Of course many of lesser abilities won’t be able to understand this clear straight formula but since we discovered it then it must be true. Of course if you decided to formulate this analysis utilizing the 9th or 7th degree the result let’s say might be quite different but who is really counting and what is the answer we need to get to anyway.

 

We can

Peaceful NOISE!!!

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It’s a beautiful peace EARLY spring morning and all I have on my mind is fried feathers. For this bird could meet his mate at another window preferable a different apartment complex. I know I should enjoy the sounds of the season but at this point all I want to hear is one 22 silence them forever. Okay maybe that’s a bit drastic but birdie can you give it a break for an hour maybe two P-L-E-A-S-E.  Then we all can enjoy a beautiful peaceful spring day instead of one full tweet, tweet, tweet…. you get the point.

Heaven Discovered

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1/20/36 – 10AM- The Musk Space Module has proven that heaven exist after it’s journey through Black Hole J.  DNA samples of previously exhumed bodies have matched the human’s living on this earth type system.  The Musk Space Module could only conquer the atmosphere for 18 minutes before it com-busted in a burst of flames. Even though scientist had recently developed a hypothesis on what they would find with this journey to see it in the real world takes us to a whole different realm of existence. A realm which we have never been to before.

1/21/36- 10AM – After the discovery of “heaven” Church’s, Synagogues, Mosques and other places of worship have been full as people want to know more about whether their own particular faith will be able to take such a journey. There appears also to be a charity boom as individuals give up many of their possessions to help those less fortunate and work to help those in need maybe as an effort to insure their own journey.  Heaven seems like many galaxies away but now that it has been discovered people are bringing it home… at least today.

FOOTNOTE- What do you believe would occur if and or when this discovery is made?

ONE DAY

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Don’t cry for me because I never had the chance to cry for you. In this 24 hour period I never heard a moment of pain or suffering but only the great things of life air, food, rest and peace. It was just one day but the most wonderful day I can imagine because I never knew better or really worse. One day might seem sad to you but if you don’t know better it truly can be worth every minute.

Notre Dame- Shouldn’t Be Read… Maybe

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WARNING- This probably should be read….maybe

Notre Dame took almost 200 years to build as a replica to one’s faith in Christianity and as painful as it might seem it took this fire to bring it back to it’s roots. For Notre Dame was built in the capital of Paris, France now home to one of the most secular places in the world.  Notre Dame had become more of a museum for the tourist then a spiritual holy site for the true believer. Where those accessing it to worship were seen as basically props for the architectural tourist taking photo shots.  This incredibly complex beautiful structure was being destroyed before our eyes yet one simple structure beamed out it’s cross.  We all mourn the destruction of such a grand structure but maybe just maybe the faithful will help rebuild it not just with the tools of their hands but their hearts and souls. So it becomes a beautiful structure again with faith keeping it stronger then ever.

FOOTNOTE- This post comes from a faithful person of the Jewish faith.

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