Let’s face it when these little critters come walking one’s path even the biggest, baddest wolf will give them space. The “Anti Stalker Spray” works the same making sure that those who actively want to stay close are snuffed away. This spray will come in all different aroma’s such as Skunk, B.O, Morning Breathe etc and will insure you will have your space where-ever you might go. Anti Stalker Spray because sometimes you have to stink to stay safe.
The next time an A..hole enters your life make sure they make an appointment. That’s right you need to set a quota of how many A…holes you allow in your life at one time. I guess it depends how much free time you have and how big they are one whether you can fit them in for an appointment after 5 pM or a short visit during the day. Of course with our schedule for A…holes we need our 2 week vacations but even on a vacation I’m sure we’ll allow one to slip in for a short visit. A…hole Appointments allow people to be who they really want to be with out making you one yourself.
It’s time that retailers across America stop serving Illegal Aliens! Once these “individuals” know that we only serve people from this world then maybe they’ll realize it’s time to get out! Enough with your bleeding heart we can hardly can feed our own citizens now we have to take in those from another planet! I understand that they have been oppressed but we can’t be the universe police officers. I guess if they fall in love with one of our kind then I guess we might have to accept this fate but what … about their children
Do you know people who love this seat (above) too much? They feel like it’s truly their throne which they can’t be taken off. Well for those individuals it’s time for GETUP a special toilet seat that you program with a preset time so know one will be able to ignore
when their time has expired. This
alarm with have all the bells and whistle attached. That’s right your toilet seat will tell those extended sitters all the things you wanted to say to them but didn’t want to get this close. A matter of fact if they decide to ignore the first alarm well maybe a bit of buzz will shake them up to realize there’s no escape except outside the bathroom door. GETUP for toilet’s are for sharing not hogging.
FOOTNOTE- Water hose may be an added attachment. I want also thank P.A for helping me formulate this brilliant and cruel idea.
Does something seem wrong with a Dunkin DONUT’S sneaker or is just me? For does the average consumer of donut(s) in the plural usually feel like running or just watching others run on the boob tube. Maybe we should come out with Butter & Bacon Aspirin while we’re out it or maybe I-Hop Diet plan. Sometimes the donuts are stranger then fiction.
Today I saw my 1st Porno and the strange thing is it was doctor prescribed. A matter of fact we all looked at it together. For today the doctor looked at a party of my body that resembled too closely a part of the female anatomy to be within my of my own body. That is unless I’m changing within. Not to fear though take a closer look at your vocal chords and I’m sure you’ll have the same experience. Maybe it should be restricted for mature audiences and your E&T doctor.