I don’t like thunder & lightning I LOVE IT!!!! These are some of G-D’s best special effects that light up the sky like no fireworks can do. The sound of the fury wakes of every cell in my body and just when it appears to be over then the night sky awakes my eyes like nothing else. Yet I dare someone to watch this entire video below and not be a bit shocked. Thunder and lightning somethings will always be EXCITING!!
I confess I have blood on my hands as I have taken the life of many “innocent individuals today. It all started with Uncle Maurice who was also a pest when I knew him and today I just wanted him to leave I guess a bit too much as I swatted him away. Boy I never realized my strength. I thought that would be the end of my killing spree but later on Thomas ran right in the middle of the street and I know deep down I could have avoided him but he was busy eating nuts and I had to get to work. Yet even if I could be forgiven for those crimes the killing of my angel brother Thomas was something know repetance could save me from. I actually didn’t kill him but ate him which is probably just as bad. For I ordered a Veggie burger how did I know that they would switch it with my Uncle. Well if I go to hell at least my last meal was delicious.
FOOTNOTE- This is a Hindu Killing Spree no humans were actually eaten or murdered in this story unless you believe differently.
I want to join the new scouts and since they changed from boy to generic then I say drop the age requirement as well. It’s not fair I never had the opportunity to earn my merit badges in my youth so why not open the door to those like me who want to learn to build a fire and camp outdoors. If the scouts think there is no real difference between what a boy and a girl should do then why limit it to age as well. A matter of fact why limit it to people as well for my dog would actually enjoy these activities even if there is no where to pin the badge. I say scouts for everyone and everything!
FOOTNOTE- I’m really not interested in joining the Boy Scouts for I think I failed out of the Cub Scouts.
The next time an A..hole enters your life make sure they make an appointment. That’s right you need to set a quota of how many A…holes you allow in your life at one time. I guess it depends how much free time you have and how big they are one whether you can fit them in for an appointment after 5 pM or a short visit during the day. Of course with our schedule for A…holes we need our 2 week vacations but even on a vacation I’m sure we’ll allow one to slip in for a short visit. A…hole Appointments allow people to be who they really want to be with out making you one yourself.
You know I have a life other then you. I understand that you feel I’m ignoring you but trust me I’d love to but I really can’t. You’ve always been there against me and until I give you what you want you’ll always do the same. I know just one more piece of Tylenol candy and you’ll leave me alone but you’ve had 2 last night. Pain, maybe it’s time you become more independent and make it on your own. Until such time I’ve decided to ignore you well that is at least until this prescription is filled.
It’s time that retailers across America stop serving Illegal Aliens! Once these “individuals” know that we only serve people from this world then maybe they’ll realize it’s time to get out! Enough with your bleeding heart we can hardly can feed our own citizens now we have to take in those from another planet! I understand that they have been oppressed but we can’t be the universe police officers. I guess if they fall in love with one of our kind then I guess we might have to accept this fate but what … about their children
Do you know people who love this seat (above) too much? They feel like it’s truly their throne which they can’t be taken off. Well for those individuals it’s time for GETUP a special toilet seat that you program with a preset time so know one will be able to ignore
when their time has expired. This
alarm with have all the bells and whistle attached. That’s right your toilet seat will tell those extended sitters all the things you wanted to say to them but didn’t want to get this close. A matter of fact if they decide to ignore the first alarm well maybe a bit of buzz will shake them up to realize there’s no escape except outside the bathroom door. GETUP for toilet’s are for sharing not hogging.
FOOTNOTE- Water hose may be an added attachment. I want also thank P.A for helping me formulate this brilliant and cruel idea.
I’m am a drop artist but unlike the typical artist I don’t work with paint but coffee, water and whatever liquid happen to me near me. Therefore you should feel quite privilege if you happen to the person covered with my “art”. Although some might call it spilled milk I call it “Milk Lisa” and you are the star. What is extraordinary about my art form is I have been working for free to build a following and lately more victims … uh I mean customers appear to be wanting to be part of my projects. Trust me I will continue this art form until I perfected it or someone moves that cup away from me.
Last night I turned on a “comedy show” and wondered who actually laughs at these jokes? For example here’s one joke that will haunt me forever “I should have made waffles”. Trust me it wasn’t the delivery or antics with the line nor even the set up just this one line which had the audience cracking up. This made me think I’m really funny for I’ve actually said this line many a time but with no laughter it must be the audience. Where can I find these bizarre people so I can have my own syndicated comedy? Well at least I can top them “I should have made waffles with syrup”. I’m sure in some bizarre galaxy or laugh track it’s hysterical.
I’m sorry can I get an extension for I’m only one day off and I’m sure some are still recovering from the celebration. Yes, I know missed it last year and the year before but this deadline for “fun” seems to be always off my schedule. I promise I’ll make it up with extra credit even if it gives me a headache and a bigger belly. Well I guess there’s always next year just keep the tap running and I’ll try to get there on time … this time or maybe….