The people of Russia today declare victory in Ukraine and will seize all further military action. Our victory secures the motherland against “terroristic” attacks by Ukraine forces against our peaceful country. Of course, if the illegitimate Ukraine government attacks our land we have the right and duty to defend ourselves. To celebrate our victory over tyranny I’m announcing a 20 % discount on our oil reserves for 30 days and seizing any boycotts with all western powers. Russia is looking for a peaceful return during the difficult times we have had to endure and prays that the world responds in kind.
FOOTNOTE- What move would the United States and world counter with if this occurred?