While taking “experimental medicine” to treat my illness I took a trip into a different realm that has me taking these pills here. In that realm, I had done things I would never have done here or at least haven’t and has caused such pain here and now. Maybe when I get better I’ll act a bit worse just to teach the other realm the consequences of their action yet how would I know here. I’m not a perfect person here but a hell of a better person than there. Well, I guess the good news is I finally understand it all adds up even if I don’t have the control to change it.