Before you feel guilty about not helping ask yourself do they really want it? This was the lesson I was taught by my great spiritual guide during a discussion of Mussar or ethics for today. I might want to tell my overweight friend that maybe carrot sticks would be better then cake but if the words are just eaten maybe I should leave them for the appetizer instead. I’ve always felt guilty about not doing more but sometimes less works better until they actually want more. Sometimes tough love is tougher on the one who gives then receives but it could work on both ends. In the end all you can do is lead your loved ones to what you believe is the good life but if they decide to walk away then so be it as well as your guilt.
FOOTNOTE- This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t offer the carrot stick but if their not biting you can enjoy it yourself.