I hope I’m not being quite the contrarian to myself but there are times it’s best not to look for that needle because it will only rip open your heart (figuratively and G-D forbid literally). There are individuals that have committed heinous acts that of course we need to distance ourselves from but there are also individuals who had a pattern of hurting the “ones that they love” that we should also be very wary of. For when we build a friendship or even acquaintance with such individuals we can become their next victim and that might in turn make us wary of positive relationship in your life. The truth it’s a difficult needle to thread and sometimes you should leave it to others to begin this process.